Law of Attraction

Hi people,

a while ago I had announced that I was planning to tell you about the Law of Attraction that I came in touch with a few years ago. Now, as a premonition, depending on your beliefs and attitude, it might be that you just find this whole thing crazy and idiotic. I used to think that way. Until I decided to try and realized how true most of the ideas are.

So, the Law of Attraction (made popular by The Secret by Rhonda Byrne) is a principle that says that everything you attract with your mind will come into your life. This means if you really want something, you just have to believe strong enough in getting it, and you will finally have it. It sounds too simple to be true, right? Well, the problem is that you can’t really have a doubt, otherwise it will not work. Probably now you start thinking that it’s really crappy, and I did the same first. So please read on. 😉

There is some kind of three-step-process to get what you desire. At first, you need to visualize very clearly and convincing what you want to have. For example, you want a certain hat that you are unable to find in your local stores. You need to see a picture of this specific thing in your head and decide that this is what you want to have. What you do with this is that you “order” what you desire from the universe. In principle it’s like ordering a parcel. You decide what you want, order it at a company and wait for the parcel to arrive.

This is the second step. While waiting, one has to be expectant and positive without any doubt that the parcel will arrive. To me, this appears to be the hardest. It’s fine to think what you want and to believe that, okay, you will get it, but once you have been waiting for a month, the enthusiasm can easily start to fade. And if this happens, your order was in vain and no parcel will arrive. According to Rhonda Byrne, it depends entirely on you how long it takes until the ordered parcel arrives. If you think it will take long, well, it will. If you trust in it to be delivered very soon, it might as well, if you believe strong enough. Of course this is a technical barrier that I have run into many, many times. But actually, there are quite a few experiences where I’m pretty sure that without my firm belief that something would happen this way, it wouldn’t have. I don’t want to go into details now because I’m actually dog-tired, but I can definitely tell you some success stories.

The third part of the process is receiving your parcel, whatever you desired, thankfully and happily. Being thankful in general is something very much stressed in this principle because it basically shows your appreciation for all the small wishes that were fulfilled in your daily life, many of which you didn’t even consciously think about. For example, waking up again healthily or seeing a beautiful flower etc.

I’m curious – has anyone ever heard about the Law of Attraction? And what do you think about it? Exciting or bullshit?

For me personally, I can just repeat that it had a very positive impact on the way I see life and I’m grateful to have discovered it. I would always recommend it! 🙂

All the best

Ayumi

It’s our choice!

Hi there,

today I want to share with you what I experienced a few days ago, when I visited a talk by a Tibetan Buddhist teacher about letting the past go. It was more for my mom than for me, because she had a troublesome time over the last few years. But I was very curious to meet this person anyway. And it was worth going there, even though the conclusion was basically something I already knew. However, it never harms to be reminded of simple and powerful truths. 🙂

He talked a lot about stress at first, how our Western societies are full of it and the people don’t get to relax during the day as much as they should. Mindfulness ist another thing he touched, and he kept repeating that when you are, e.g., eating lunch, you should focus on this and enjoy it instead of already worrying about what will come next. We do this all the time, I mean, who really lives in the present moment? It’s a great thing to try, but for me it usually takes less than a minute until I think of future or past again. Anyway, that was how he started the talk, and it was already very nice. He then presented 6 tools of how to achieve more happiness in life. Actually, it was 5 tools and 1 “manual” to make use of the tools.

The tools were generosity, discipline, continuity, concentration and patience, the manual knowledge. As simple as that. He talked about all of them for a bit, and then, in the very end, he came back to the original topic of the talk and just said that regarding the letting go of the past, it’s our own business. We have to make a conscious decision that we want to do it, and we may use the mentioned tools to achieve it. But he didn’t say much more about it. It’s our choice, I think that’s the main message.

We make decisions all the time, concerning important and not-so-important things. But we often forget that we can make choices in every aspect of our lives, we have the chance to change so many more things than the ones we do change. We can change many aspects of ourselves, even. Maybe not the basic foundations of who we are (but who would want to change that, anyway?) but definitely some patterns of how we behave in certain situations, and also the general attitude towards life – as I did over the years.

I think this is something worth repeating again and again, because many people struggle with various issues and always complain about their bad luck etc. Fine, people, it doesn’t exactly help you to complain about what is bad and should be changed over and over again. Just make the decision to accomplish these changes. We have all the power in us, we just usually don’t make use of it and thus think that there is nothing there. There is, let’s just trust in it!

Alright, enough for now… I just thought you might like to hear about this talk too, and maybe think about what you would like to finally let go, or change, or accomplish in your lives that you never thought you had the power to. Is this really so? We should always ask that question.

Now, I hope that some of you had/have an awesome summery day as I had (guess I even have a sunburn now! 😉 ).

All the best,
Ayumi

Never lose hope

Dear all,

guess you are asking why the hell I am not writing, now that I finally decided to start my blog. I’m sorry, I’ll really try to better myself, it’s just a rough time right now.

This apprenticeship I just told you about a few days ago? Today I got rejected, and it really hit me hard. At the same time I’m still stuck in my Master’s thesis institute and can’t completely let it go yet, so right now I’m dangling in the air and it’s a bit too much for me. Especially this rejection is pretty tough for me because I had been counting on this thing for nearly a year now, and suddenly it’s over. Still can’t really believe it…

Anyways, this is just an explanation so you don’t think I already lost interest in blogging. I love it, and I’m surprised how much I enjoy it, actually. But sometimes it’s just really hard to not simply break down and cry. Well, I did that earlier today, but now I’m more or less ok again. While I am writing this, I even feel some of my energy returning, so this really helps me. Thank you for being out there. 🙂

What I realized after I nearly got a heart attack this morning is that one can never bet on anything. You can be so sure about how the future will look like, and then everything can change within one second after getting a call, opening an e-mail, or suddenly looking at the girl/man of your dreams, or having an accident. Nothing is sure, whether we like it or not.

At the moment I feel like having lost the solid ground under my feet because all my plans and ideas I had for the next years of my life are gone with this one fateful mail. But luckily I am not a negative-thinker anymore, otherwise I would probably fall into a deep, deep hole now. As it is, I am just telling myself that there was a reason for this for sure, and I probably wouldn’t even have liked the job if I had got it in the end. Like this, I can restart after my Master’s with a fresh mind and maybe find something that fits me much better.

What I want to say is that, however terrible and unbearable a situation might seem at first, never lose hope. Maybe for a minute or two, and crying is totally allowed anyway, but I think it’s important that you always know it will get better again. Even a few minutes after reading this e-mail I told myself that in a few days I would have probably come to terms with it already, and I just hand to stand through them. I mean, there is this certain time that has to pass before one can accept negative events like that, and I guess there is not much one can do to speed it up. But as long as one knows that life goes on and there is always a new morning, everything is ok. I didn’t lose hope and trust in myself although I felt like crushing the whole world in the first half hour. This is something I was really proud of (afterwards, at that time I just cared for not crying in front of my boss!) and that made me confident that good times are coming. Not getting something you really wanted sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. And you know…

“What feels like the end is often the beginning.”
(found on Pinterest, from http://lalalovelythings.com/2014/03/beginning/).

For now, big hugs and all the best wishes ❤

Ayumi

The positive attitude

Hi everyone,

after having focused on not-so-pleasant topics the last posts, I today feel like talking about something very positive. Something that I think is in a large part responsible for me becoming the person I am today. Even though it’s not been a specific event, just some kind of development. But let’s start from the beginning…

I guess I was around 13 when I first started realizing that the world is not all nice and beautiful as I had childishly assumed before. My childhood was wonderful, I can remember endless summer days playing in the garden, making up stories, drawing like crazy and so many other things I loved. At one point my friends started growing up and didn’t like our usual games anymore. I really had a tough time, since I had always been a late bloomer and just couldn’t handle suddenly being deprived of all my playmates. This was what actually triggered my growing up, I think, and it felt like being thrown in at the deep end. Suddenly the world wasn’t all jolly and carefree anymore and I felt lost and insecure. All I wanted was to live in a dream world (I have always been fond of anime, and frequently imagined living in one!) and leave all this crappy reality behind. For around 1.5 years it remained this way and I had a generally very negative attitude towards nearly anything. I was functioning, but unhappy.

Gradually, I regained my interest in the real world, and I think it started with finding new passions in life. I discovered the kitchen for me – first by helping my mom more and more with cooking and then by starting to bake. How much fun that was! At the same time, I got more into writing little stories, something I had always loved but now had more time to as I wasn’t fond of hanging out with people my age who were just interested in make-up, fashion and partying. My life at that time may sound lonely to you, but I actually discovered how much I enjoyed myself doing these things.

What really had a huge impact on me was the law of attraction. Anyone know the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne? It was amaaaazing to me when I first got my hands on it. In the very beginning I thought it would be some esoteric nonsense, but I started realizing how much I took from it. Basically the law of attraction says that anything you think strong enough and thus attract with your thoughts will come into your life sooner or later. I’ll probably write a post on that one at one point, there is so much to say! Anyways, this book was something that triggered a change in me. I decided that I wanted to be happy and that I lived in this world and this world was not perfect but well worth living in. Although I never attracted anything super major, I feel like my life has started going in the right direction then. I became a vegetarian and later vegan and started being more confident about who I am. During my highschool time I didn’t have any close friends but I didn’t need them anymore. Somehow I was only becoming aware of my true personality once I decided to embrace what I had and what I was. I think this discovery was what helped my positive attitude that had slowly, carefully started developing, to finally shine through. In retrospect I can’t really say when I had reached the stage I am at now, but now that I’m thinking about it, it’s probably only been recent. Everything is changing and developing all the time in life, and when I look at my personal progress over the last year I would say a lot has changed again.

What I can definitely say is that this time around age 14 to 15 was crucial for commencing my path towards my real happy self. I think it could have also gone into the wrong direction and I might have ended up depressed and sick of the world if it hadn’t been for some small changes and one lucky discovery of a genius principle. It’s a joy for me to look back nowadays and see how much I have achieved. Of course, being an HSP I worry about many things like crazy and there are lots of things going on on this planet that are terribly sad. But I also have a general contentment and confidence that help me see life as a wonderfully exciting and surprising journey. You can never be sure about what comes next and how long life stays steady when it seems to be. Having accepted that, I know that it will always go on somehow, and as long as I don’t force myself to do something I dislike, it will turn out alright.

One of the most important things for me is to never say I am grown up so I am not allowed to be childish anymore. I am a very childish person in many ways and I love this trait of mine. Where would this world be if we were all dead serious and no one ever did something foolish just for fun? Not in a good place, I think.

I hope for everyone that you also found your way towards a positive attitude (or maybe were lucky and had it all along!) – if not, there’s good news: you can learn it if you really want to. Just show yourself how wonderful life really is. It works! 😉

Ayumi

Worry, worry, worry…

Good morning everyone,

I hope you had a wonderful and relaxing weekend. Mine was mostly nice but way too short. I mentioned in my first post that I got my Master’s degree which probably sounds like I am in principle free now, but there is still some stuff to do so I keep going to my institute at university.

Today I’ll accompany a good friend to the hospital because she might need to get a surgery done, not sure though. It’s especially bad because she as well finishes her Master’s now and will then travel back to visit her family on the other side of the globe and if the surgery is done, this won’t be possible.

You can image what my weekend looked like. Every free second I was worrying about my friend, hoping that everything would turn out well but at the same time trying to imagine what would happen if not. Can’t one just stop it at one point?! I feel like my head is always occupied with something to worry about, though over the years my general attitude has switched from a pretty negative to a quite positive one. More about that in another post… Anyway, whenever I wasn’t worried about my friend I was thinking of the small things I still need to do to finally completely leave my Master’s thesis period behind. It’s not much but needs to be done. Then I started thinking, okay, so if you go to the hospital on Monday morning you will come late to the institute and this will delay other stuff. Really, I just can’t switch it off.

It’s even worse with my knowledge that once I’m done with my Master’s I don’t have anything following. Okay, so I was looking forward to this for about a year and a half and I know that it would be wrong to continue after my Master’s because I just don’t feel good about what I’m doing. But the thought of not having a job prospect and not knowing how to reorient myself can drive me crazy at times. I know I need this time, but sometimes this knowledge is the only thing that makes me stay strong and not just find myself a PhD position. Fear can make you do pretty strange things.

Well, people, that’s one of the reasons for my blog here. I think that finding people that feel similar to me in one or the other way will be beneficial for both sides. If you know that other people struggle (and succeed) as well, it makes you feel more like you are actually allowed to not know what’s in store next – after all, that’s life, right?! The problem is just that all these “normal” people out there are often so very self-secure and give people like me (us?) the feeling that it is not okay to be insecure about certain things. I know so many people who give the impression to know exactly what they want. Although for some others I already found that this was nothing but a facade and inside they are just as torn as me. Maybe we all need to be a bit more honest about our feelings. After all, it doesn’t help anyone to have half a country’s employees stuck in a job they despise only because they didn’t dare to change their orientation. I don’t want to end up like this. And I won’t because I now know certainly some things I don’t want. That’s a good start. I once read a quote (if I find it again, I’ll add it here) that said it’s more important to know what you don’t want than to know what you want. And I think it’s true, I mean, how can you know what you want? There are so many things in the world, jobs, lifestyles, places to travel, experiences to make… How could you possibly know? But as long as you have things that you know are wrong for you, it really isn’t too hard to exclude them from your life as well as possible. In my past I had this strange habit of often ending up doing those things I knew in advance I didn’t like. Probably because it’s easier to stick to the known, even if you don’t like it. Well, those times are over. Wherever my life will lead me, from now on I will be the operator! 🙂

Have a great day, and try not to do too many things you actually don’t want. It’s your life!

Love, Ayumi

Changing your diet – not overnight

Hey y’all!

Although there are probably many other people out there who published similar posts, I want to tell you guys about my personal experience with going vegetarian and then vegan. Both have been processes for me, not strict day-to-day switches. Maybe it works differently for different people, but I think in general it is always better to have a longer period over which one can gradually move towards the big goal. A little like with an addiction. Just cutting the stuff out all of the sudden is not exactly gonna do the trick.

Of course no one (at least I hope so 😕 ) is addicted to meat or dairy products, but if these foods have been part of your daily diet for years it won’t be a breeze to live without them immediately.

For me it was also to make sure that I could handle what I was planning to do. Becoming vegetarian was harder, I must admit, because I was younger, less experienced, just not as steady as I am now. I didn’t know how strong I was and what it would mean to me to suddenly eat differently from my family.

Between thinking about maybe becoming a vegetarian for the first time and actually doing it, a good two to three years passed. Sounds a lot, right? Anyways, during that time I learnt so much about myself and grew up a lot, and I think I needed this time. The last year before being completely vegetarian I maybe ate meat for 4 times. And – relating to my last post – usually it was to please my family because my mom would ask me to please eat some because she was worried that I might not get enough protein or something. I can’t even remember properly, it seems so ridiculous to me now. I’ve never been healthier than on my beloved plant-based diet! 🙂 Anyways, the last time I eat meat was on New Year’s Eve and before that I hadn’t eaten it for nearly half a year. Immediately after eating, I was so mad at myself, and I guess this is when I knew that I had actually made it. I was a vegetarian then, because eating meat to please my family had made me feel just wrong and guilty and not me. Never touched anything related to meat ever since. That was 6 years ago.

About 2 years ago the second switch came into rolling, I had played with the thought of going vegan for a while and felt more and more that this is what I truly wanted. Again it was a bit of fighting with my mom (who, in the meantime, had also become a vegetarian!) because she was afraid of having to give up too much. Of course, me going vegan wouldn’t have meant her having to do it too, but since we live together and I do a lot of our cooking and all of our baking, and we are very close in general, it was clear that it would affect her as well. For a while I listened to her but it didn’t take me long. I wanted to know. Luckily, I found some awesome food blogs that probably most vegans here know quite well (Oh She Glows and Chocolate Covered Katie). These completely eliminated my fears and I started doing the same as for going vegetarian. I finished all non-vegan stuff that was left and just tried without it. This time, it was so much easier. Actually, I thought it wouldn’t be because I used to adore cheese and ice cream, but I think my willpower and motivation have grown immensely since the time of my becoming vegetarian. Every vegan day I was infused with my enthusiasm of actually doing this. No animal suffering for my food – could it be any greater? Yeah, so within half a year that I had planned as my trial period I lived nearly completely vegan, with the exception of two occasions where I was invited to friends who had tried to cook vegan for me but accidentally added something non-vegan – there I was not consistent as it was my trial period. 😉

Okay, so as conclusion I would say that allowing yourself some time to adjusting to your desired diet prior to switching completely is a good thing. For one, it prevents disappointments because you are not a euphoric new vegan for two weeks to then switch back because you can’t handle it. Instead, you are only a trial-vegan first to confirm that you can do it. Afterwards, you can be even prouder. Also, it just is easier because also your social environment can get used to your new diet gradually and once you have completely switched, everyone already knows. For me it was the perfect way.

Let me know how you think about it!

 Love, Ayumi

Say no!

Do you also know this annoying trait to always want to please people? This used to be me, completely. It was really bad. Someone would ask me something and although I wanted to reply with “no” I would say “yes” because I knew this person was hoping for that. That way I ended up having to go to get-togethers I didn’t want to go to and even participating in stupid lotteries, just because I didn’t have the guts to simply say “no, thanks”!

It’s essential, though. Especially for HSPs who naturally worry much more than the average person it’s just not sustainable to commit themselves to things they really don’t want to do. But unfortunately HSPs are also the most susceptible to trying to please people, since we perceive very easily what the other one expects and also get affected by the other’s mood. We don’t want to be responsible for someone else to be upset.

But, tell me, do we want to upset ourselves instead? Again and again?

One really important lesson we all have to learn is that we are not responsible for other people’s wellbeing. Of course we can contribute to it and we can enjoy it when our loved ones are happy about something we did. Still, if they are unhappy about something we did, and this thing we did was right for us, it is also okay. This obviously also applies to people we are less close to, but there it is easier to say no.

Try looking at people who are not so sensitive – they usually have no problem at all with saying no and they say it every time they mean it. As it should be! And no one is angry with them, right?

Maybe it’s a bit of a different issue for HSPs as we might say no more often than the average person to things that most people would like to do. But hey, that’s our opinion, our personality, us! We should stop cheating ourselves…

I think this is something that has a lot to do with life experience. At my age, I know many people who struggle with similar worries, but in my mom’s generation it’s already a completely different issue. They just say “fine, let this person be upset, but what do I care? If they find me strange and dislike me, I don’t mind…”. Love that attitude! And I am trying hard to make it my own.

Since I became vegan I find that it gets easier and easier, just because of the practice probably. When it’s about eating anything that other people offer me I nowadays politely decline without any trouble. The first times it was hard because I didn’t want to hurt anyone. After explaining why I wouldn’t eat their stuff, no one was ever angry with me, though. And I bet it would be the same with nearly everything else.

You don’t want to come to the party? Why? Ah, because you hate loud music. Huh, I can’t understand it, but if this is how it is – okay. We can maybe meet in a quiet place another time.

Isn’t it like that? People may find you strange, but they usually aren’t offended. It is okay to speak your mind – we just have to do it confidently and assertively. Then we are all set. 🙂